Dependency
What does it mean to depend on something?
In the English language, the word "dependency" doesn’t have any negative connotations, and you might not think much of it.
In Italian, it’s a word that used to scare me as a kid and still does as a grown adult.
I probably need to give more context for you to understand what I mean. The word comes from the Latin word dependentia, in Italian dipendenza.
Its direct English translation is “addiction.”
Today, the English word is used mostly in scientific fields. I use it quite often, as in software development it refers to an external component or library whose functionality you rely on.
When developing something, you have two choices: the first one is to spend time and brain power to build something from scratch; the second one is to use an external package—often built and maintained by “the community”—which contains all the functionalities you need (and most often way more).
80% of the time, you end up picking option two. After all, why would you reinvent the wheel?
Now, imagine you have built your application using some of the key functionalities of the external library. Tomorrow, the maintainers of that package decide to make a major change or, even worse, abandon the project.
You sigh and know that your best way forward is to (1) update your application to match their updates, (2) never move away from the current version you’re using—not realistic if you don’t want your project to become obsolete within a month, or (3) scout the internet and search for a replacement.
Does this sound mentally exhausting and give you anxiety? No? Great, you’ve got what it takes to become a software developer. Yes? Hi there, fellow software developer!
There is another option that is overlooked and most commonly avoided: This option involves building that functionality—no matter how hard or tedious it might be—from scratch so you have full control of it. Control, especially on its maintenance and update cycles.
Seasoned developers can understand this, but it can also sound like blasphemy to most software engineers out there. After all, with all the free resources you can find online, why would you want to put yourself through that pain?
The answer is pretty simple: it’s to avoid or limit the dependencies in your project.
Now, back to how the word is used in Italian and why it used to scare me.
A few examples are: “tossicodipendenza” (drug addiction), “dipendenza dalla nicotina” (nicotine addiction), and any other combination you can imagine that involves a substance that can be abused.
It scared me because I saw and believed that once the label was given to someone, there was no coming back. Luckily, I was wrong, but no type of addiction is easy to get out of.
I used to be a smoker. I always felt I was in control, until I wasn’t.
Anytime I had a dull moment, or some time to kill (no scrolling back then), I’d light a cigarette up. I was so used to it that it became an unconditioned reflex—after a snack, a coffee, and even after a gym workout (I know, the epitome of well-being). But today, it isn’t about that or how I ended up quitting after about eight years of daily smoking.
Today is about what still keeps me trapped and what I’ve been trying to outsmart.
Surprisingly, it isn’t anything from the list I mentioned above. I was almost going to say “thankfully,” but I believe that what I struggle with is as bad as any other addiction. The key difference is that it hasn’t been labeled that way. Well, it can’t be labeled that way for many reasons.
Firstly, it isn’t a clinical condition, so you can’t see the effects of it by taking a blood test, although it can definitely deteriorate your health.
Secondly, it’s hard to pinpoint if you are dealing with other issues, despite it being the very root cause of your monthly check-ins with your psychologist.
What in the world could I ever be talking about? Would you even understand what I’m trying to say? Or am I so obsessed with it that I’m making it a bigger deal than it actually is? Potentially, but I also know how much it impacts us in our everyday lives.
There’s a dependency that unites everybody in modern society—for the sake of this argument, I’m leaving biological needs aside—a dependency that was put on us. No one asked for it really, but everyone asks for it. You probably figured it out already, but in case you’re wondering what in the heck I’m talking about…
I’m talking about work.
See, I had this parallelism between the two words that made me draw this conclusion. Before you go off and think I’m talking rubbish, let me share my train of thought, then you can counterattack as much as you want. We depend on the labor system, right? That’s just a fact.
And we’ve already established that the word “dependency” is closely associated with addiction.
Now, think about what people go through to get and keep a job. How much time do we trade for it? The extent to which we go for it to have a pay rise or to have a deal go through. Sure, I know we all have to pay bills, but at what cost?
Of course, I’m not suggesting you drop everything you’re doing and go live like a hermit up on a mountain. I just hope to give you a different perspective on what we call “necessity.”
As a young kid, I wanted to be a millionaire. That was one of the first things I wanted to be.
Sure, an astronaut, an inventor, but what I always knew was that a millionaire could be either of those if they wanted to. I couldn’t possibly know that in the early ’90s, but look around — I’d say amongst the modern inventors and people going to space, I got that awfully right.
So there you go. Have I managed to free myself from one of the most common addictions only to end up fighting one that isn’t even recognised as such?
Imagine having warning labels on a $100 bill note: “Quitting will improve your health”, “Work kills”, or “Your job harms children”.
In all seriousness, though, I don’t believe money is the problem, and I do encourage you to be positive about it. Perhaps it’s the system around it that makes it toxic. It’s up to you and me to purify it. So in that sense, yes, I do believe it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with money. I can confidently say that because I have it.
It takes a ton of work, though, especially when you’re starting from level ground or, even worse, the basement. Let me tell you, it’s much easier to be in a good relationship with it once you have some on your side.
So what am I exactly fighting, then? I’m fighting how I make money. I’m fighting the work and not the money.
Money is and should always be our ally. With money, you can solve most of your problems—that is, if you have your emotional side in order. No wonder why we get sucked into the “work addiction.”
I say this while I’m extremely fortunate to enjoy what I do for a living. That fortune, though, I created for myself.
You can stay in a job you hate or fight harder and find something that you don’t detest.
My job allowed me to earn enough for me to be able to wake up and lift my head. I earned enough to see that earning “traditionally” won’t get you to quit working.
If you are reading this and think, “I love what I do, I don’t want to quit”, then you’re doing great with your life and career, and I can only wish you the best.
Conversely, if you jump at the idea of quitting or changing careers, then consider the option to be admitted to a metaphorical work rehab.
What does that involve, you might ask?
It might be as simple as building a 2-3 months fund for you to live off while you change employer or transition to another industry. It could also be more involved, requiring you to take on more responsibility and for things to get tougher before they can start improving.
Regardless of the steps you are taking, it all starts with acknowledging that your job isn’t sustainable or it isn’t what you signed up for or perhaps it isn’t what you thought it was going to be.
You are in control. Don’t let the circumstances set you adrift. And if you have money in your corner, it all becomes simpler and more feasible.
So perhaps start with that.
Start with respecting the money you get by, and I can guarantee you it’ll give you back in the form of freedom.
Despite me still being on the path of fulfilling the dream that the young me has set, I make sure I don't compromise how I spend my time and the work I take on.
The secret of it, I realised, comes down to a simple decision. In life, you can either keep your head down or lift it up… and that is up to you to decide.