Not too sure why I’m writing instead of drawing, playing guitar, or doing what I usually do.
Maybe it’s because I need something else to do that isn’t scrolling bloody LinkedIn, searching for something that’s never going to show up. I haven’t really written much before, apart from a few letters to K.
I hear over and over that successful entrepreneurs create content, and they use writing as their main medium. Well, you could argue that everything starts with letters on paper, or more commonly these days, characters on a screen.
Do I like writing? Probably. Probably not. It’s still too early to say.
One thing’s for sure: I struggle with it. That I can guarantee you. I’m used to a different kind of writing, one that engages a whole other part of my brain.
Usually, when I write code, I’m following a clear strategy, planned out ahead of time: write a class here, initialise it there, make sure the code does what it’s supposed to, and of course, check that everything looks okay.
But this? This is bizarre.
It’s bizarre because it’s actually the first time I’ve written in a free-flow style in English—and not broken English, at least not for me writing it in the moment. It might be broken when I read it back and don’t understand half of what I’m saying.
Sure, I’ve written a lot for work, but that’s different. Technical writing has a clear purpose: transferring knowledge to a central place so everyone can access it—even though they probably never will. It’s not always knowledge, though; sometimes it’s facts, other times it’s something I discovered or something I recommend.
So, why am I writing today? I had the impulse to write yesterday.
I was here, in Notes, tallying up the hours I’d worked for a client, and an odd thought entered my mind. How would I use Notes to write a journal or a book? I started thinking, "Well, I could probably start by creating a dedicated folder to gather all my notes." Then, elaborating on the idea, create sub-folders for chapters and sections.
As I’m writing this, my mind’s already off on another tangent, thinking about creating a course or an e-book—bloody e-books! If you listen to the top 10 ways to create passive income, everyone on the internet swears by them. Maybe I’ll write an e-book on how to write a book using Notes. It would be like creating a course on how to make digital art using Paint... back to basics, I guess.
I miss Paint.
It was my first taste of digital art, long before Photoshop and graphic tablets. I loved my Wacom. It was a hand-me-down from my first mentor, perhaps the only mentor I’ve ever had that I truly consider as such (more on my mentor hopes in future writings). During my internship, on lunch breaks, I used to borrow his graphic pen to draw in Photoshop. Photoshop back then was way more barebones than today, but that minimalism really helped create a distraction-free space. I’d be sketching all sorts of things, from cars (obviously) to fantasy creatures.
One day, he came back and saw some of my sketches, not knowing my passion for drawing and art. We went down a rabbit hole where I was introduced to matte painting—the art of creating stunning landscapes, starting from a blank canvas or sometimes a photo. That was when movies were just starting to use the technique to create breathtaking shots (think Lord of the Rings, Avatar, etc.). Of course, the art form wasn’t new. It used to be done physically, but this was the digital version. We looked up many contemporary artists and discussed Dylan Cole (my mentor’s favorite and soon to be mine too) at length.
After that epic session—though we definitely went over the lunch break—good thing my mentor was also my boss—we got back to work. Then at the end of the day, after having removed hundreds of backgrounds from product images (life was different in the early 2000s), while I was wrapping up, my boss came over and handed me his Wacom.
At first, I thought he was lending it to me, and being way too polite, I would’ve refused to accept it for free. But he explained it was time for him to upgrade, and it was better off in my hands than his.
I was stoked.
First, there was no way I could have afforded it. Remember, this was an unpaid internship over the summer.
Second, it represented an ocean of possibilities. I could finally use it on my own time, without any constraints.
And third, his generosity allowed me to keep progressing, experimenting with different software and the new interactions made possible by the pen.
For the next few years—roughly 6 or 7—it became my computer’s mouse. Its use started to decline as my coding workload increased. I can’t pinpoint exactly when that happened, but one day I found myself typing and using the keyboard more than the graphic pen. No doubt, it was a sad day. But with it, I carry an amazing memory.
I’ve owned a few tablets since, and the last one, gifted to me by K, was a dream. Everything I’d imagined when I was hunched over my 12x10cm drawing area, creating fantasy artworks in Photoshop.
When I wasn’t into matte painting, I’d kill time drawing Dragon Ball, Ranma 1/2, Fist of the North Star, and other manga characters in Paint. It always satisfied me to see the colours come together so effortlessly.
You know, I’ve just realised something funny... I started this note questioning why I’m writing instead of drawing, and yet I’ve spent all this time talking about my drawings. The thing is, I’ve almost got the same feeling of satisfaction from writing about drawing, which is really strange.
While this has been a nice exercise for a Friday afternoon, it doesn’t feel quite right. I’m not sure why.
Maybe it’s because I’m writing with no clear end goal?
Maybe it’s because I don’t see how this could turn into something I could share or something that could help me get out of this current stalemate.